The life and times of people just like you... and me.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Days of the Week

Do you know the song? I think it's to the tune of the Addams Family. "There's Sunday and there's Monday, there's Tuesday and there's Wednesday, there's Thursday and there's Friday, and then there's Saturday. Days of the Week *clap! clap!*
Getting kids to do chores... is a chore!

There are countless studies and articles that proclaim the value in getting kids to do housework. I don't doubt it - and not only is it good for their development... sheesh! Duh - who wants to do all of the chores?? I would really like more time to make Savasana Socks!

I was vacuuming this morning and it occurred to me to assign chores by the days of the week. You know how there's #ThrowbackThursday on social media? What if there's More on the Floor Monday? You'd pick up anything on the floor that day! Now I have to think of the rest of them.
Maybe it's Trash Tuesday. So you'd get all the trash out of your rooms, backpacks... take out the trash!
What about Wednesday? Windows! And I have the perfect cloths and enough for both kids to tackle this project with just the cloth and water!
Thursday? Tabletops?
What about Friday?
Saturday?
Sunday is Sunday Fun Day for sure!

This post will evolve, it's a goal! If you have some ideas for my remaining days, please leave them in the comments.


Monday, March 20, 2017

Doubt

So much doubt. So much confusion and mistrust. My path is not the same as most, it seems. I haven't been a nine-to-fiver for years, and it seems that world... either doesn't want me or I just am not right for it... I don't know. I can't imagine being gone all day, full time, from my home. Not yet. As I watch my family sit, plugged in to their video games and devices, I know what I would come home to.

Everything I currently try to accomplish during the day — still waiting for me.

Common belief is that I do not make enough money. Not everyone believes in budgeting or self-restraint. Some want the easy way - the 'just throw more money at it' way. More and more and more and more money and the problem is - when you keep throwing money at a bottomless pit, you never do fill it.

So following the path I am on is not easy for me. I do what I love, but part of it has to be done while the kids are home - after school - and very little is accomplished while I am gone. The kids will complete chores that I designate for them while I am away (at least they did last week - that was the first time I asked!), but nothing gets done that I don't outline. If this house is a ship, it seems I do not have a first mate.

And it's a total crapshoot - this yoga thing! This is crazy. Totally crazy. You can't count on people to dedicate themselves to class. How on earth do you expect this to be a living? I doubt it is even possible. I think I need a "real job."

The Real Job I have pays nothing, and aside from yoga, the real jobs I want are nowhere near here... and I'm so outdated... I doubt I can get them anyway.

Doubt. So much doubt...

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Lucy's Locket

This is a true story... mostly. 
As I peer through the glass of the present into the past, the vision has a lovely haze that softens the view into something so perfectly Rockwell... and I'm just fine with that. As for the ending, well, the ending hasn't happened yet. So in this space, it can be as I dream it. Enjoy.

A single, little stool in front of the glass counter swings from side-to-side as the wispy blonde of four upon it twists her center of gravity to and fro. Her eyes are on a thing of beauty beneath the glass: shining gold. An oval - she'd just learned the name of that shape and she loved it! Pretty swirly things all around the edges. Her dad had said that they were looking for a necklace for her mom and this... locket. He called it a locket as he spoke to the man behind the counter. When she'd pointed to it, he said he thought she'd found the perfect Christmas gift for her mom.

They were going to put her name on it. Right in the middle of all of those pretty, swirly things, it would say "Lucy." How long would it take? The grown-ups blurry words drift through her mind as she studies the shiny chain and thinks with excitement about giving it to her mom.

The ride home is about how to keep a secret. No Telling until Christmas. The year had been a difficult one for mom. Little brother's arrival had not been easy. Mom had gotten sick, and had to stay in the hospital, even though the baby had come home. She'd had to stay at grandma and grandpa's longer. She got to see her brother one day - just long enough to hold him and dad to take a picture —then Other Grandma took the baby back and it was up the road again — back to grandma and grandpa's.

She'd watch daddy come to grandma and grandpa's every morning: up the dirt road on the tractor. She loved grandma, but she missed home. She missed mom, and she was ready to be a big sister! Hadn't she waited long enough for that baby to come out? It seemed forever, but the day did come, and the family was all together.

Mommy was sad for awhile. She was tired. She'd been sick. Daddy thought she should have something extra nice for Christmas. Daddy said the locket was just the thing.

And it was.

Mom loved her present! Loved her husband and kids. Mom placed a picture of her girl on one side of the locket, and her new son on the other side.

As the years went by, the wispy blonde took notice, every time mom wore the locket. It was most striking in the winter, when she wore it over her sweaters. Beautiful mom, all ready to go to the big family Christmas, put on the locket to complete her look. Her daughter thought she was her loveliest every year at this time: walking into grandma's all dressed up and carrying her dish to pass. Of the grown-up women, she has the prettiest voice, the best laugh. Hand the baby cousins to mom when they cry and they settle down every time.

### 

The locket is in mom's jewelry box. She doesn't wear it anymore. The chain is broken. Time has faded it. The family has grown. The children have children. Seven of them! 

Her hair isn't so blonde, and she isn't so wispy. His hair is gray, and he isn't as tall. Yet once again, here they are, dad and daughter, conspiring to allow a delicate, golden clasp attempt to contain all of their love and appreciation for the woman who'd given them each other. The idea was perfect, and weird... and somehow that made it more perfect.

They'd have the chain repaired for Christmas. She'd know they were doing that. What she wouldn't know was that birthstones would light the new chain. Eight of them: four on each side of the locket. It worked out perfectly, as some of the family share birth months, so too they could share a stone. Just as this new generation of children had brought new color and life to the world, an array of color to light the way to the locket, and the beginning of it all.

Mom loved her present! The locket once again had it's place around her holiday neckline. Just as before, it's the perfect accent to her sweaters, and to her. 

###

Ten days before Christmas, they venture out on the coldest day of the month so far. He has the locket in his pocket. They haven't had much time together. Her work is keeping her busy, and the kids... wow! The kids are in everything and the car is racking up miles in record time. He's retired, to some degree. His son owns the farm now. The four youngest grandchildren are in and out of the house and barn regularly. The youngest of the four is a wispy blonde: middle name Lucille. 

It's not such a task as adding eight stones. Today, just one, smaller stone is needed. There are January great-grandbabies to be accounted for. The locket has been worn recently, and rests in a prominent place on the dresser. It must be returned, or mom would be on to her husband and daughter. 

Off to the jewelers, and to lunch. She has to work until 2, there is time. We'll have fun, and get some things done! One last stop at the store, and home we will go - victorious! 

Mom finds them in the candy aisle. Guess who got out of work early? Oh dear! We're getting dog food, mom, see you at home! 

Oh dad, we have to check out fast and get the necklace back on her dresser! She'll figure it out! Straight to the checkout they go. Of all the times to run into the neighbors... who have realized they've rung up quite a bill! The neighbors decide to apply for a credit card to save 10% and as dad and daughter wait under a facade of patience while exchanging incredulous glances, mom speeds through the checkout aisle right beside them. Ooooh the goose may be cooked!

Finally, the transaction is complete and they are headed home! Surely, they cannot beat her there, but OH!! She stopped at a drive-thru for a cup of coffee. Daughter wonders if mom is just giving them time to complete their mission. She knows... darn it! She always knows! You cannot trick her, and you — a grown woman — are still a horrible liar. Dad's not so concerned. She may have an idea what we are up to, but she doesn't know what we've done. 

The necklace is back in it's place. The new gem will be added when the perfect opportunity presents itself. The family timeline happening along mom's neckline remains beautifully current.

###

More stones are added as the years come and go. More great-grand babies, more color along the chain. With every child comes another mission of love for dad and daughter. Lucy's locket brought more joy and love with every cycle of it's being stolen, enhanced, and gifted anew.

The youngest granddaughter is now a lovely woman in her own right. Beautiful, independent and spirited with a sense of mirth and mischief that brings so much life and laughter into her grandmother's world; she sits beside Lucy and hears the tale of the locket. They laugh over the adventures of dad and daughter, whom every time thought they had pulled the wool over mother's eyes, but she always had a sense of their plotting. They really weren't very good liars at all, neither of them. 

The time has come, Lu. The mission is now ours. Let's go to the jewelers. 

They go and give their instructions. 

They return to collect three boxes. This Christmas, it's their turn to bring the element of surprise to the family affair. 

The daughter opens one of the boxes. A bracelet? With the stones - the stones of her family. The son watches his wife open her box. A bracelet, with the stones, all the stones of their family. 

The locket, you ask? Why, it has a new chain, and a new neckline to dazzle. Lively Lu carries the childhood pictures of her aunt and her dad. Her sparkling eyes reflect the glow from her grandma's face. 

Grandpa sends the littlest of the littles with a small box for grandma. Her slightly bewildered look is well worth the price of the bracelet inside...

Monday, April 4, 2016

Checking the Grip

Have Faith in the Plan.
One must always have faith in the plan, even when the plan seems askew, or illogical.

People have a tendency to cling tightly to their plans. The internal compass points North, and we endeavor to remain trained on that mark. We hold fast to the direction, and in this day and age, seem duty bound to speed to our destinations.

Why?

What is the hurry?

Is it because the only way we are going to find real rest, true peace, is to lay lifeless in a box?
I actually do think that sometimes. No kidding, when I die, FINALLY... there will be no more rounds of kitchen cleaning, no more endless laundry. Why did I ever think...?

I didn't.

When I became a wife and mother, I did not picture that my life would be an infinite cycle of dishes and laundry. I didn't know "Mother" equals "Servant." I didn't know that when you possess the only mature vagina in a household, you are expected to do everything no one else wants to... because it is important they get their requisite television viewing and vegging out time.

I didn't know being a wife and mother meant being a dumpster.

My true North still exists, and this... loop... I am in, just isn't it.
Photo Credit: Becky Ivett (Beautiful Life Images)

I've been thinking today about Holding the Reins. Like riding a horse, or steering anything with two hands, really. You can relax your grip without letting go of the direction, right? When you relax, you are called to trust more. Relaxing allows for the possibility of the path changing. It means you may see things you wouldn't have otherwise.

However, if you drop a rein, you may spend a bit of time going in circles.

Like, endless loops...


Thursday, March 17, 2016

Up and Over

I'm no marathoner. I'm not a flashy yogini. I like to do a lot of things, and I am mostly average or slightly below par in most of them.

I've learned to run. I'm not fast. For me, being able to run 3-5 miles without losing my breath is a BIG deal! I couldn't do that as a teenager. With age, I've learned about pacing. With time, I've learned the value of intentions.

There've been a lot of "I" statements in this post so far. Not all of this is about me. Some of it is about YOU.

You who struggle.

You who have bad days.

You who ask for prayers.

You who keep fighting - though your income has dipped or your relationship falters...

Yep. Some of my running is for you.

Up and over this hill. Not a steep incline. A gradual one. One that on hot or particularly blustery days, can seem endless.

When I know you are struggling, I take you with me.

I call to you, "C'mon! C'mon! Don't you see the top? Let's get it!"

I take the boy who beat cancer and the one who's almost there on every climb. Sometimes, I take the wife of a police officer, or the single mom, or the single dad. Lately I've added the drug addicts and their families. Sometimes I take a whole farm (and all the farms!) with me. Sometimes I take the teachers, the administrators, the aides of special needs kids, the special needs kids, my kids, my family... the dog I saw that came up missing (I sometimes figure my dog, Storm, has that one's back on that particular outing).

There's a whole team at my back and do you know what?

WE make it over this hill EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Believe me. You were there. Did you feel it? I always ask on the way back down. I hope you feel as empowered as I do. You see, I needed you, as much as you needed me.

That's the point.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Time to Punch Out and be Mom

The moment when your allergy-suffering kid, enwreathed in used tissues, gazes up at you with hound dog eyes and says, "cuddle with me, mama. I think I just blew my brains out."


Monday, May 12, 2014

There's This Kid I Know...

He is five years old. His name is Brett and this past December, he was diagnosed with AML-FLT3. I have learned a lot about those six letters and that nasty little number in the past few months. If you don't happen to be in the loop, they stand for a really wicked form of leukemia that requires multiple rounds of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant to stand a chance of recovering.

It is a scary, scary journey. This little boy and his family have endured so much in the past six months. His mom is my friend, and she amazes me with her seemingly endless energy and ability to fight, nurse, love and still parent ALL of her three children! Her husband is withstanding all of this quite remarkably too - they are a strong family. You can find out more (and aid their fight!) by visiting their website: http://brettsbunch.wix.com/brettsbunch

Sandy called today to fill me on on another family's battle. She is very worried about another little boy, who was also an AML patient and is now a survivor! However, today that 11-year-old child suffered a stroke. I'm sure you can imagine, as I do, that his body is probably quite worn after such an intense battle with cancer.

Brett is recovering from a bone marrow transplant currently. He is doing well! But there is concern in our hearts for this other family and this other boy who is now fighting to recover in a new way.

Oddly, it is not fear I feel, but gratitude.

Not for this child (or any child's!) suffering. No. I wish that never happened.

I feel gratitude for open eyes - my own, first and foremost.

Tunnel vision happens. We get bogged down in our own lives, and think we do not have time or energy to help anyone else. You see charity organizations begging for time and finances on television or in your digital travels and think you are too stretched to help or your efforts will be wasted by some corrupt organization, and you pass it by. We all do it, and we as individuals cannot support all of the myriad causes there are to support!

But there is always something that can be done, and there is always something YOU can do.

For me, it's blood donation. Since Brett got sick, I've gone every 56 days to Roswell Park to direct blood donations to my favorite little superhero. Doing this, I've found, benefits me just as much as it (hopefully!) benefits Brett! I take better care of myself. I drink more water. I take a daily vitamin that I just could not remember to take with any sort of regularity before this child got sick. Now, I am like clockwork. My whole reason for doing this is to make REALLY good blood for Brett!

I've decided, even when Brett doesn't need my blood anymore, someone else will. I will keep on being a blood donor. Because now I know there are always families out there with a kid waging war on an enemy within. There is always a parent trying to be brave while hoping and praying for a miracle. There is always a community in the shadows with their hearts open and their energies directed at clearing the way for the miracle they deeply believe will happen for their intended.

Closing our eyes to these circumstances doesn't make them any less real. Looking back, I think I've partly shut them out because I was afraid of the fear and the pain of joining what on the surface may look like a losing battle. What I've learned is, when it is your friend, your community… the fear and pain in NOT acting is far more intense! I have to wait 56 days between blood donations. 56 days feels like an eternity! I have even tried to convince the donor center I am strong enough to do it more often (that doesn't work, just FYI).

Acting, giving, DOING creates hope, power and love! Don't get me wrong, tears are created too. Lots of them, and some are fear tears. But some are tears of amazement, and overwhelming pride when you see others acting, doing and helping to support your cause in amazing ways.

Not all of us are created to dash into burning buildings and save trapped babies, but ALL OF US have the ability to reach out in some capacity. It's not about having the time or not having the time, it is about having the choice to Make the Time.

Monday, March 10, 2014

What Might Have Been (and wasn't!)

I feel compelled to just blurt out somewhere in type all of the things that didn't happen this past weekend. Depending on your perspective, it was both eventful and uneventful at the same time. I am very thankful for both the events and near-misses that have me seriously wiping sweat from my brow and lifting my eyes to the heavens and whispering my thanks quite often even still. Maybe I should just get right down to it. I do still have to clock in and get some work done today; maybe emptying my head of all of this will help move that intention forward.

Here is what didn't happen:

Angel prevents fire, then reveals herself in a dream
  • We didn't have a house fire (almost, but thankfully, nope!)
  • We weren't stranded in town with both keys and phone locked in car (for long, anyway)
  • We didn't have to cancel any play dates
  • We didn't have to not share pie with loved ones
  • We ceased to have to fight about whose turn it is with the iPad
  • We didn't have to cancel a special ladies day I planned two weeks ago

Here's what happened:

  • My quilt rack in the bathroom caught fire
  • I locked my keys and phone in my car while grocery shopping
  • We hosted two play dates
  • We baked and shared a homemade blackberry pie with my brother, dad and a handful of nieces and nephews
  • I had a wonderful chat with an angel (in my dreams, but aren't dreams the very best place to find inspiration and enlightenment?)
  • The iPad fell into a coma (issue remains unresolved, the only "Hanging Chad" of the weekend)
  • We had a lovely little breakfast, just mom and the kids, at Bob Evans
  • I made it to the Trillium Lodge for Sip 'N Paint with my mom and sister

Here are some take aways:

  • New house rule: If someone lights candles in  your home, that person should be personally responsible for making sure they are all extinguished. When you are so fried you compel someone to draw a bath and light your candles for you... you are in no shape for taking responsibility for extinguishing them - really, you are not
  • It might be a good idea to give your nearest neighbor a spare key to your car (my nearest neighbor gave birth to me, this seems a wise move)
  • At the ages of 8 (and up I hope!), play dates amidst chaos do not seem to add more chaos, and even seem to reduce chaos at times
  • iPads need Otterboxes
  • When sharing pie with loved ones, bake two pies... because life is always better with more pie!
  • Sip 'n Paint... as much as humanly possible.
    Sip 'n Paint Friends - can't wait to do this again!