The Perfection in "Imperfection"

This post is about the transgender community.

If you are sick of reading about it, shuffle on.
If reading about anything that isn't your opinion will inflame you, please don't waste your time here.

This is my thought. It could be a wrong thought, I don't know. I'm just putting it here for others to consider. I don't think I can be convinced of anything aside from this just yet.

I can understand what it is to feel like you are one thing on the inside, and something different on the outside. It makes sense! We are all on that journey in some way or another: to try to find inner peace and achieve some sense of balance in our lives.

Those that comprise the transgender community are faced with this challenge at the highest level. What makes it worse, I think, is that we live in a society that makes it seem as though you must be one gender or the other.

My question is… Why?

Why?

If you feel one gender internally and physically express the opposite gender - what if you worked to embrace and incorporate both?

Wouldn't that be beautiful?

What if you aren't "trapped?" What if you simply and beautifully contain ALL?

What if you are ALL - ALL in one body, mind and spirit?

The amount of surgery and trauma these forms are sometimes choosing to undergo in order to conform to one gender or the other truly concerns me. When people go through multiple procedures to change their appearance for aesthetic reasons, we wonder if they have body dysmorphic disorder. The health implications  — both short and long term — are frightening. If society simply embraced people who embody both genders, would our transgender people still feel compelled to subject themselves to these of multiple, intense, elective procedures?

Perhaps we won't know until there is acceptance. Societal acceptance AND personal acceptance.

Isn't that what we are ALL after?

The Despair from the Compare

"I don't know why other people complain about blue fuzzy socks. I happen to love blue fuzzy socks and I intend to enjoy them every day!" Does anyone else get a little twinge when they hear or read statements such as this?

Are you reading between the lines here?
The implied "because I am a fantastic person and I am going to make you believe it by running down anyone and their brother who might have an alternate viewpoint."
You see, because if the fictional quoted person weren't having such huge self esteem issues, they'd simply say "I love fuzzy blue socks and I intend to enjoy them every day!"
You don't need to be better than anyone else to be great.
It's just not the point.
The point is to be the best YOU possible.
Not a YOU that is better than THEM.
And FYI? THEY are pretty great too. They may not think like you, they may struggle… and that may very well be exactly what makes them great.

Time to Punch Out and be Mom

The moment when your allergy-suffering kid, enwreathed in used tissues, gazes up at you with hound dog eyes and says, "cuddle with me, mama. I think I just blew my brains out."

Keeping the Light On

The power of one's inner light to guide a life's course is only as strong as its protector. There are moments when the winds of change blow, and the fresh air feeds the flame. There are other moments when the winds of change blow from the wrong direction, and threaten to snuff out that flame.

The difficulty often lies in knowing which is which. We can shield the light from the breeze, or we can allow the fresh air to feed the flame and encourage it to burn brighter. While there may be no definitive way to know which is which, yet there is strength in knowing the choice is always yours.

Perhaps the guiding principle to remember is how we often raise our hands in gestures of self protection out of fear. Inhaling deep breaths of oxygen usually means we are preparing to be brave. Regardless, refusal to direct a flame in any way often results in a candle that burns unevenly.

You Don't Need to Complete Me.

Remember this moment? This moment in this movie when this hot guy whose been a total jerk has his come to mama moment and realizes he isn't complete without his lady love?

I've decided this is a giant load of crap.

You do not need another human to complete you. You first need to be a whole and complete human yourself — a standalone — and then you find the connections that compliment you. Notice I said "connections," because I don't think your spouse needs to be your best friend either.

Wouldn't it stink to find out you completed a shallow, selfish fool?

No thanks!

Why fuse, when you can simply pair nicely?

Persistence, Faith, Determination and Love

Running has become a thing for me. I don't know precisely the reason why. I walked for years, and maybe it just became time to go faster. Maybe it was because I started donating blood to a little boy with leukemia, and I was determined to make the best blood I could possibly make for him.

Yeah, that last one had an awful lot to do with it. I started taking vitamins right around then too. Now I know two young boys fighting for their lives. It is amazing how wanting them to be healthy so badly has made me more healthy too. The side-effects of good intentions I guess?

Then, there is that whole thing about staring down the 40 door…
I wanted to be able to run a 5K without losing my breath. Turns out I can run about 4.5 miles without losing my breath!

Which leads to this:

I was tired this morning. Christmas is kicking my butt this year! And work, and volunteering and parenting (which directly translates to TONS of appointments and extra-curricular running!) I've got a cold. I am WIPED out. But I ran today anyway. 2.5 miles. So tired, I forgot to stretch my tight hip before I went out the door. So scattered, I forgot my ankle brace (which is a BIG no-no!)!

I ran on snowy roads in sneakers that aren't made for snow running. But I went.

I was asking for trouble and taking foolish chances born of illness, exhaustion an overtaxed mind.

So I went carefully. I chanted to my boys, battling such horrible beasts. I willed them (and myself) to keep on.

Now, for the rest of the day, nothing will be difficult. 

It's a two-and-a-half-mile pep talk. Everyday. The image above appeared in my mind as I went. 

A friend told be about something huge that has little chance for success. I am willing that huge thing to happen. I was afraid when I heard about it. I feared the worst. But today… today I'm focused on that chance. That chance that it will work! 

When you want something bad enough, all you really need is a chance, right?

I'm glad I took my chances today. Everything turned out fine, and I am better off for the effort. 

Persist at your goals and have faith that you will learn as you persist! Be determined to live true to your intentions and do everything out of love: for yourself and love for the lives you impact.

Choices

There are loads of people in the world who make bad choices. That would actually be all of us at one time or another. The wiser of us quickly realize our bad choices can really hurt other people and we try not to make them. Sometimes it is easier to make bad choices when the victim will be some faceless person you are not likely to ever encounter.

Today, I am that faceless person.

The choice someone made wasn't deadly, just stupid and thoughtless. As I cleaned up their mess, I realized how lacking in care this person (or judging by the size of the mess, four people) actually must be. So, to the person or people who made me choose road cleanup instead of a relaxing cool-down walk after my jog, I offer the next few words.

MAKE BETTER CHOICES

1. Smoking kills. Both Marlboro and Seneca will cause the same result. I hope you weren't arguing on my favorite road about which brand is better. They are both equally toxic.
2. So does McDonald's, Wendy's and Burger King — where I see by your receipt you spent $11 and got some change that you didn't manage to toss out your window. What? No tip for the clean-up crew?
3. Pepsi will increase your chances of becoming diabetic (and a host of other things), ah yes, perhaps this is my five-cent tip?

Clearly, you must be in pretty bad shape, as it was too much effort to find a trash can within which to dispose of your crap. Perhaps your poor choices are caused by lack of oxygen to the brain from all the fast food and smoking. Maybe you should consult your doctor. A nice regime of healthy eating and walking might cure a lot of your ails, and give you time to notice how ugly litter looks along the side of a beautiful dirt road.

In the mean time, you are welcome. Oh, and uh, good luck with those scratch-off lottery tickets. Maybe if you win, you will be able to afford trash service.