A Note for My Daughters

I have one birth daughter, but feel that the young ladies coming up in the world after me are, in a sense, all my daughters. As such, I have an obligation, to share what I've learned, to tell you the truth, to show you what the view from there looks like from here, and vice-versa.

Thirty-eight seems like a lifetime away when you are 13, 18, 23... but honestly? It is a blink. The older you get, the faster it goes. Let me let you in on a little secret: Life ain't over when you hit 21. You are not old at 30. The reality is, your life, the life you will love and enjoy most, is only just beginning. You will have some realizations in your 30's that will absolutely floor you. You will regret some things from your youth, and you will celebrate some great things you didn't even know you did at the time.

Here's my advice to you:

1. Care for your skin as if you were already fighting wrinkles and sun damage. When you are at the age where you actually need to worry about wrinkles and sun damage, you will have less to worry about. In short, you do not need a tan.
2. Drink water. Please don't even talk to me about pop or alcohol! Forget your friends, your body is your TEMPLE, and will be with you long after your friends have moved on. Water is the perfect drink. Give thanks for it, and partake often. 

   

   No makeup at 38.
   You don't need it either Teen!

3. No makeup required. Wear it if you want, whatever. But one day, you will be comfortable in  your own skin. It is then you realize that your bright eyes don't need a frame of heavy lashes and eyeliner - maybe such beauty shouldn't be contained in painted frames anyway. 
4. Dress for school as you will one day dress for work. School is your job. If you do not plan to be a hooker when you grow up, please do not dress like one to go to your current job. Boys pay attention to hookers, boys also notice the young ladies who act like they have some self-respect. You will intimidate some. You will also save yourself some heartache.
5. Be nice to the people other people are not nice to. Some day, they will write you notes about kindnesses you extended that you do not even remember, and it will remind you that even your early years had meaning and value.
6. Don't curse in type. Don't post slutty pictures of yourself on the internet. It will get you attention, yes. But if you do this and then start whining about all the nasty boys who want to date you (and do way more than that, believe it!) you will get no pity from me.
7. If you want to repel adults and people who might one day seek to employ you, ignore #6.
8. Get outside. Life is short. Computers have a history. Phones have voicemail. Leave it all in the house and Get. Outside! Take a book or some things to draw with. Go for a walk, fly a kite, I do not care!!! Get outside and make some memories. When you are older and stuck in an office, you will have some stored happy to keep you smiling.
9. Your parents love you. Yep. I promise. You think they hate you because you can't go with so-and-so and stay out all night or whatever the stupid thing is they are making you do that irritates the crap out of you. Believe me, they are not trying to torture you (yes, I thought mine were torturing me too). Truth is, you scare them. You are beautiful and full of potential and the idea that something might in some way compromise that, scares them to death. As well it should. No one in this world will love you like they do, so suck it up and deal. A hug and a "thank you" from a child has never killed a parent either, just sayin'...
10. Your lumps, your bumps, your moles, your glasses, your teeth, your hair... oooooh honey. They are perfect. Just perfect! Stop worrying and breathe a little, would you please? Just because you do not hear "you are gorgeous" every day does not make it any less true. No one likes a conceited, self-absorbed little snot. Worry about being smarter, not thinner. Worry about if you are working hard enough to attain your goals, not if you are doing the right things to get the attention you think you need.

Ten guidelines may be a lot to remember, but you can come back and re-read them as often as you need. You know what? Sometimes I have to remind myself of them too. I love you. The universe Loves You. Be good to you and treat yourself right, OK?

Three Things Learned While Walking

He doesn't usually wear decorations on walks

I started a regular walking regimen this January. Living in Western New York, starting an outdoor walking routine in January may seem a little nuts, but I figured if I kept it up through all of the wind and snow, it would be a habit that sticks for sure! I walked some last spring and summer, but often let work obligations (both real and self-created), children and house tasks deter me from taking the time outside I wanted for myself. After a full three-months of this routine, I'm fairly certain (though the family puts a monkey wrench in it quite quickly!) it will stick and I hope to keep walking. My faithful companion, Storm, is always so sad when we don't go... who could resist?

Best part of walking with kids? Great photo ops!

The kids went with me last year quite a bit. Though I found out later they didn't always think that was a good thing. Said one, "I hate walking with you! You go too fast, and my butt shakes when we get home!" So there may have to be some compensatory measures to keep everyone (semi) happy.

Today, I am pleased to say, Storm and I walked almost two miles. The weather is finally great, and the only thing that made me come inside (other than the need to get to work) was the death of my iPhone battery just as I was about to take the greatest picture for this post! I will charge the phone and get it tomorrow. In the mean time, here are three things I've learned on my walk.

I walk three miles an hour. 
   Just a fun factoid my Log Your Run App taught me, since I haven't used it since last year, I wasn't aware. It amuses me to think, I could make it to our nearest college town while the kids are at school, but someone would need to drive me back in order to beat them home!

My favorite dirt seasonal dirt road looks great!
   It is ready to walk on, thanks in no small part I am sure to our fantastic highway supervisor! Yippee! I'm headed in a different direction (and up a good hill!) tomorrow.

I have an itty-bitty-widdle waterfall
   That's when the phone died. Sorry! It's so cute! I will get the shot for sure!

A Little Something For Me

Over on the Living Namaste blog, we're talking about intentions. Which, naturally, has me thinking a good bit about intentions in general, as well as my own personal intentions.

I've learned a lot about myself, especially in the last five years. What a ride it has been! Parenthood, maybe domesticity in general, for me, has been a little like the "death roll" a crocodile takes its prey on. I let the duty of it and the needs of others twirl and pull me down into this wicked spiral. Truly, it was only when I was at the bottom of my ocean, with my lungs ready to explode from this desperate need to breathe; did I finally fight to get back above water and claim that giant gasp of life!

Soooo, I don't do that anymore, well, not for such long bouts of time at least. I seem to see the warning signs in myself. Then, I get twitchy and defensive, the house starts to look terrible and I panic the moment a client approaches me with a new, super-fun task. Whoa!!!

When I first started working entirely from home, I was SO dedicated! I planted myself at my desk at a certain time, no matter what other tasks or needs were taxing my mind. I've realized, I'm not very efficient that way. I'd sit for hours, and yet, only manage to clock a couple because I was so unfocused!

Now, this brings me back to intentions. I have to work on listening to myself more.
After the holidays, I realized I was quite crispy with burnout. The last three months were wildly unfocused, and I was drained! I became the priority, because I couldn't focus on work. I've spent some hours taking care of the house, implemented a little morning walk as soon as the kids get on the bus (I don't even go back in the house! Just hit the path, it works!). Sometimes, a shower must pre-empt the draft I've promised. But when I do those things, you know what happens?
The work is accomplished. Faster.

So here is my intention for myself this year: Do more... for me.
I think I will chronicle it here, for me, for you. Hey, you, reader - do you want to do this with me? It doesn't have to be expensive or even time consuming. But let's find ways to sneak in the me. It will make you better, more thoughtful, more in-tuned, maybe even more efficient! Let's try. Who's coming?

About the walking. I had sat at my desk so much, I had pain in my back when I rolled over in bed. Walking will strengthen your whole body, including your abs and back. So even my 10-15 minute walk a day, after only a couple of weeks is beginning to help. Plus, I feel more energy brewing and I re-enter my house happy, content... and ready for a half hour of yoga. Yep, I make time for that too. Breathing is the best!

So my next little mission for me is a bath. But not just any bath, a Super Spoiler bath! I want rose petals, and candle light! To bring this one to life, I may just wait until summer and use rose petals from my very own rose bush. I will also be researching Ayruvedic baths in the meantime, so this may not be my only Super Spoiler bath.

If you want to try this one with me, I found a link with bath suggestions.
If you don't want to wait for your flower bed to provide ingredients, you might check out something like the bath bags I found.
What do you think, are you with me? I'm open to ideas, leave them in the comments!

Survival Skills

So I've printed out all of these organizational planner pages... and now I have to laugh.

Two pages per day, and yes, I could fill them up with all of the things I should accomplish (and then get to the end of the day and feel like crap because I barely got through two or three of them)...

Here they are in case they would help instead of intimidate you:
http://professorpoppins.blogspot.com/2011/03/family-planner.html

When I was pregnant with the Little Miss, I wrote out a schedule, a daily/weekly/monthly housekeeping schedule that I thought was reasonable (you know, since I'd JUST be at home with the baby... insert insane laughter...) I came across that list in a journal just about a month or so ago, and really had to laugh at my delusional self. Of course, I had no idea what kind of ride I was in for with Little Miss, but I have to believe I had set my standards unrealistically high for myself.

Especially when you consider I would rather have a cavity filled than clean a bathroom.

So here I sit, busy week ahead and an 18-page stack of planner pages for the week.

I could fill these boxes with a thousand things.

Do you know the only thing that comes to mind to write down right now?

Survive.

Why You Major....

*iPad tone sounds*

Child asks "what is that?"

Mom replies "nothing major."

Child, incensed, "my name is not Major!"

Thanks for the Laughs!

It's been quite awhile since I've posted! It is the end of the school year for us, and I have asked the kids to take over the annual writing of thank you notes to their teachers. Since they are still pretty new to this task, I created a sheet to help them along - especially since Little Miss has so many teachers to thank!

The responses to my prompts are generating some pretty good giggles. My favorite so far:

"Thank you for showing me..." was completed with "where the bathroom is."

Hey, that is news you need!

Anyway, if you are looking for a fun, personal way to show your teachers their efforts are appreciated, go ahead and use our letter. You may find yourself making photocopies to put in their scrapbooks!

Thanks, Easter Bunny!

Just prior to her tonsillectomy, which preceded Easter by just a few days, Little Miss informed me she knew the Easter Bunny is real.

Considering I've been waiting to have exactly the opposite conversation with one of my children or the other; I asked, hesitantly, for confirmation that I'd heard her correctly.

"Of course," she assured me. "There's a REAL person in that costume!"

So it was revealed... Little Miss thinks there is a REAL person in a REAL costume who REALLY comes into your house in the middle of the night to bring you candy and gifts...

Her Mom is kinda creeped out... REALLY!